Lights On or Off: The Pros and Cons

When it comes to sex, we all have unique preferences and ideas about how it should work. Some like it this way, while others love it that way. It’s all personal, and there’s no point in arguing. Still, isn’t it interesting how half of your friends say they think it’s best to have intercourse in a fully lit room while the rest argue the opposite? Well, let’s explore the pros and cons of a sex life with and without lights.

Does It Really Matter?

Some might find this topic a bit nit-picky and would rather talk about positions, role-playing, and other sex ideas. But in our eyes, this is an interesting debate that’s well worth exploring. We agree that it comes down to the same thing in the end as having sex is great on its own, but hear us out, will you?


When you think about perfect sex, do you see it in a brightly lit room or some dark, seductive place? Is it more enticing with sunlight coming through the window or in darkness, under the veil of moonlight? Interestingly enough, a recent study has shown that people are split almost equally regarding these two ways of making sweet love.

Around 60% of people prefer seeing every little detail. In their eyes, sex isn’t something you should hide, and being able to remember every part of your lover’s body is what it’s all about. On the other hand, 40% of us like the darkness more. Since this is so polarizing, let’s list the pros and cons of both sides.

Lights Off

The Pros

The biggest pro of doing it in the dark is sensory deprivation. Do you know how some people enjoy blindfolding their partners during sex? Well, sensory deprivation is not some Bird Box obscure fetish — it’s all about letting go of your eyesight to enhance your other senses, such as taste and touch. It’s pretty common in temperature play, but that’s a whole other story.

On the other hand, it also helps ease insecurities about how your body looks. It’s not uncommon for people to avoid taking their clothes off in front of others because they think they’re either overweight or have a nasty scar. But if you keep your body out of the spotlight, you can forget about self-doubt and relax.


Even if it might sound funny, we sometimes don’t realize how unattractive the person we’re sleeping with is until the morning. This, of course, goes for people who’re picking up partners in clubs and bars. Lights can’t help you keep your beer goggles on.

The Cons

Although it might seem funny to some, it’s hard to find your condoms if there’s no light in the room. Searching your bag, pants, or drawers will take time, and you risk getting your partner and yourself out of the mood. Furthermore, if you do find them, the guy might slip his penis into a wrong hole. And no, we’re not exaggerating. These things can happen.


Another negative is that you might disregard where the body fluids end up in the heat of the moment. The man might spill his load somewhere where it’s not meant to end up, ruining your perfect sexual fantasy up to that point.


Finally, eye contact will be missing. Without it, you won’t know whether the other one is having a good time or not. This will only lead to anxiety and unfulfilled desires as well as a lack of overall satisfaction.

Lights On

The Pros

We can come up with a few pros of the lights on, but one of them is certainly above the others. Having sex in a brightly lit room allows you to see things that turn you on about your partner clearly. It helps you with arousal while also making things easier, no matter if you’re doing something kinky or plain.

Young happy couple in bed at home

In other words, you get the front seat view. If you’re into sex toys, being able to see what you’re doing is essential. Also, unconventional sex positions become comfier to pull off as you’ll be able to maneuver without stepping onto each other. It’s important for sex to feel good, and if lights mean that — use them.

The Cons

The first negative that comes to mind is being uncomfortable with your body. The lights allow your partner to “inspect” your body, and you might not like that. The same goes for you as you might find their parts unpleasant to look at. Bright lights tend to make us look worse than we are; therefore, they can lower our libidos.


On the other side, your partner just might have bad taste in lighting. You know, fluorescent and neon stuff that can make your eyes pop out. Also, your neighbors might see everything. Sure, this isn’t a problem for some, but let’s be honest here. You’re not putting on a show for the public, right? Sometimes, it’s best to keep things discrete.